dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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