Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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