i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
