I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
