And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize