id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
