Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
