HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
