I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
