last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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