After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
