are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize