ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
