The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
