i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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