remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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