Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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