smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
