We're facebook friends in real life
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
