Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize