Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
