he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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