apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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