and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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