you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
