i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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