Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
