some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
