I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are the jesus of drinking
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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