u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
