I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Operation Purity has been aborted
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
