I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
