i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
