its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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