He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize