I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
