went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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