Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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