I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
