i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
