yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
