Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
