we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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