I wish I only lived at night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
