I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize