Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
