You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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