clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize