I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
