I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
