I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
