i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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