Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
