The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we're making bets on your personal life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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