i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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