The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
