Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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