Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
