I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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