Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
