on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
