Whod you bang
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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